How to get over Social Anxiety : #3 Tips to Deal With Anxiety " Accepting Vs Fighting Anxiety - The Better Way To Beat It "

Many people suffer from anxiety. Anxiety is just a higher level of fear to the so common question, 'what if... ?' Anxiety comes announced and completely takes over our minds.

Anxiety meaning motivational inspirational quote

Quite a few of my clients suffer or have suffered from anxiety. All these years working with them and helping them overcome and eradicate it taught me a lot. Today I would like to share three tips that might also help you handle such a crippling emotion.

1. Anxiety is fear and, as such, in the future. Some of you might immediately tell me, 'wait a minute, that's not true. I feel the anxiety very much here, in the present.' Yes, the feeling or emotion is there but where does it come from? What is the underlying fear that is causing it? Ask yourself what you're afraid might happen and you'll find the root of your anxiety. You might be surprised to discover that your answer is that something MIGHT happen some time in the future. Don't be so surprised. That is always the case. People are afraid that something might happen. It could be something happening in the immediate future or some time later. But the "what if... such and such happens?" is always in the future. Understanding this basic concept gives you a first grasp on your anxiety. Anxiety is the result of your worrying that something may happen. That means that whatever you're afraid of is still NOT HERE!
2. Anxiety is in your thoughts, inside of you. 'What if X happens? What if I can't deal with that? What if I suffocate/have a heart attack/lose my mind and go crazy... ?' These or similar thoughts flood your mind. You can't seem to be able to control them and they grow stronger as time goes by. They represent your fear. As long as you remain "INSIDE YOUR HEAD," in your thoughts, they will be in charge. Make the effort to look out. Make the effort to take control of yourself and "STEP OUT OF YOUR BRAIN" and onto the real world. Look around, focus your 5 senses on whatever is around you. Instead of focalizing your mind on whatever it is that is happening inside you, try and focus on what is around you. It could be an object or a person; you could choose to focus on something that's happening or on one part of the reality that surrounds you. Mentally tell your brain: 'Shhhhh! Thank you. I already know what you think but now I choose to think something else.' And take the step to walk outside of your brain and your thoughts. Instead of being controlled by your brain and your thoughts, remember that YOU are in charge and you choose what to focus on.
3. Anxiety happens in "freeze" mode. Fear paralyses us. Our mind is so locked up in the what ifs that we can think of nothing else. Thus, we freeze. We literally stop doing whatever it is that we were doing and just feel the growing anxiety. Action is the only real antidote here. As soon as we realize we're stuck in this frozen fear, we need to force ourselves into motion. Movement and action will break the spell. Next time you become aware that you're paralyzed, stand up, jump, walk, DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL and not automatic, something that requires your attention, and snap out of it!

Next time you feel anxiety creeping up on you, remember and use these three tricks. Anytime you realize that you are already trapped and controlled by your thoughts and their accompanying anxiety, remember and use these three tricks. Repeat as often as necessary. The more you use these tips, the weaker your anxiety will become.

You are much MORE than your thoughts. There is the rest of you. And there is the rest of the world outside of them.

Enjoy life, ALL of it,

Accepting Vs Fighting Anxiety - The Better Way To Beat It

It's a whale of a debate.

Is anxiety meant to be fought? Or is it meant to be accepted? If you would have asked me years ago, I would have hoot and hollered that it should be fought until it's knocked out cold.

This Fighter Mindset was something my strength coach in college instilled in me:

You have to fight for everything in your life.

Fight for your workouts. Fight for your relationships.

Fight for your success. Fight for everything.

This resonated with me. This made me realize that those things were not simply going to fall into place. Don't leave it up to chance. If you want great health, you must fight for it. If you want a great relationship, you must fight for it. And it seemed like fighting anxiety and fear was no different.

And while this Fighter Mindset has its place, the more I learned about anxiety, the more I realized maybe fighting ourselves isn't always the best route. In her book The Fear Cure, Dr. Lissa Rankin states, "It's not so much about curing fear; it's more about letting fear cure you."

What if we ran with this idea...

What if fear was showing us what needs to be healed in our life?

What if fear was showing us where our next area of growth is?

What if fear was showing us where our currently limitations are?

What if fear was showing us the edge of our current abilities?

Here's an example:

Let's say you have a fear of public speaking. Most of the population is scared stiff of this. This was something that plagued me for most of my life. I was fortunate though. By using this fear, it showed me how to help more people. By using this fear, it showed me how to express myself in a totally different way. By using this fear, it showed me how to grow as a person.

How can YOUR fear help you?

What if fear was simply handing us a sealed envelope? And we had to rip it open to discover the hidden message inside. And what if we accepted this message instead of fighting it? Instead of running from it. Or distracting from it. Maybe it's telling us we need to heal some past hurts. Or find a better way to do something. Or change our beliefs about how the world should be.

And accepting does NOT mean giving up. It does NOT mean saying "This is just who I am" either. That's nonsense. You are much more than your anxiety. It simply means accepting that currently [key word] fear/anxiety is present in certain situations.

It doesn't always have to be there.

But right now it is.

And maybe... just maybe... by accepting it... and embracing it... it'll open you up to understanding it more and ultimately how to end it. But it's worth trying and seeing how it works for you.

You may be pleasantly surprised.