Understanding the True Meaning of Success : Success, Happy & Hope Are Greater Than Failure, Grief & Sorrow

Humanity is united in the passion for success. Perhaps, there is no emotional feeling that is commonly shared among men than the passion for success. The fact is not just that everyone wants to be a success, but that no one wants to be associated with a failure. People channel a great deal of efforts towards activities (or group of activities) that (they are convinced) will help them succeed. Despite this, success remains, and will continue to remain, beyond the reach of many. This shows that the road to success is narrow. Though everyone naturally desires success, it will amaze you to know that you will get different views of success if you ask different people to define success.

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Experience and observations show that though the desire for success is common, there are divergent notions of success among different people. It may interest you to know that many people's definitions and conceptions of success are erroneous and misleading, and consequently, unacceptable. Some people vigorously pursue what they sincerely misconceive as success, only to become unhappier in life after accomplishing them. This is why it is important that you understand the meaning of success before you start pursuing it. This is why Steven Covey remarks that you should ensure that the ladder is leaning on the right building before you start scrambling up.

What is the meaning of success? Success can be defined in two senses - the general sense and the strict sense. In the general sense, success is the accomplishment of a set goal. There are some implications of this definition. The first implication is that you achieve success whenever you are able to translate a set goal to reality. Another implication of this definition is that success necessarily entails accomplishment. Hence, there is nothing like partial success. Another implication of this definition of success, which is very important, is that success is necessarily related to a set goal. Hence, you cannot succeed in a goal you did not set. Goal setting is the beginning of success.

However, there are some demerits of this definition of success. The major limitation is that it says nothing about the moral value of an accomplished set goal. If success is the accomplishment of a set goal, you succeed once you are able to translate a set goal to reality, even if the accomplished set goal is immoral. This is why success should be defined as the accomplishment of a set worthy goal. Every accomplishment should excel some moral examination before it can be accepted as success. This is why success necessarily leads to, and increases, happiness. This definition also implies that every accomplishment should be socially acceptable before it can be said to be a success.

In the strict sense, success can be defined as striving for balance in every aspect of life. This definition of success is very important because it corrects some wrong notions of success. For instance, an average adult defines success from the financial point of view. This is why rich people and celebrities are easily said to be successful. This is a very wrong notion of success. Financial success is success in an aspect of life, not success in life. Equating financial success with success is synonymous with equating a part to the whole. Success necessarily has to do with striving for balance in every aspect of life. There is the need to justify this claim with practical examples.

Can a man who excels in his public life be said to be a success if he fails in his family life, especially through his own fault? Indeed, such a man cannot, and should not, be described as a success. According to the late German Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, "No success in a man's public life can compensate for his failure at home." In other words, true success starts from home. What if a man excels in his academic career but lacks character; can he be described as a success? The answer is obviously no. According to Mahatma Gandhi, "Education without character is one of the seven deadly sins of a nation." Besides, a truly educated man is worthy in learning and character.

The key factor the latter definition of success emphasises is that an individual's success status should not be ascertained with recourse to a single standard. This is a major mistake in many people's reasoning. This is also why many people become unhappy after accomplishing what they pursue single mindedly with the conviction that it is success. The pursuit of success in an aspect of life regardless of the consequences on other aspects is often the beginning of self-destruction. It is better to be average in all aspects of life than to be the best in some aspects but the worst in some other aspects. Set goals in all aspects of your life and pursue them vigorously.

Success, Happy & Hope Are Greater Than Failure, Grief & Sorrow 

Following the foregoing mathematics formulas - Success, Happy and Hope are greater than Grief, Failure and Sorrow.

I am often approached with questions that focus on the metrics that govern happiness. This question really underscores one seven-letter word: SUCCESS. When you think about it, this word dominates almost every phase of your life. Are you successful in your profession? Are you successful in your relationship? Were you successful in losing weight. Was your meeting successful? Have you found your personal success as a mother/father?

The peculiar thing about success, is that it is extremely difficult to hold onto because it is a constant moving target. Unwanted and unexpected dreadful grief happenings often present horrendous detours in your happiness. You may feel successful one day and then the next feel you have completely failed. Measuring your personal successes yearly can be daunting and discouraging. Measuring day by day is a better option. On a daily basis you are better able to focus on the things that make you happy and feel worthwhile. Daily success in reconciling your grief is sometimes one step forward and two steps backward but in the end your success will be greater than your failures. Success is reaching a small goal and beyond. Success is reaching a happier moment beyond your hoped for dream. The absolute grand champion blue ribbon prize is when you are truly successful and actually feel rewarded and find joy in the healing journey.

When our six children were young, my wife and I carefully made a list of values we would try to live by as a family. Some we gave careful attention to included things like "Marchants would always pray together as a family" and "Marchants would never swear in our home" and "Marchants would try to always share and express love for each other" and "Marchants will always try to do our best in everything we do" and "Marchants will never, never give up."

Then as years passed by we look back upon the foregoing values and other family values and analyzed if we stayed the course. Were we successful? We noted the realization that our family values needed some fine-tuning along the way as success was a constant moving target. Unexpected challenges in life's journey necessitate tweaking one's values and efforts. Grief can result in an absolute need to repair and refurbish your life. Willingness to try to mend the cracks in your life will lead to your success.

As I ponder the true definition of success I recognize success is unique and personal. So to answer the question at hand: success can be defined in so many ways but when you come to clearly know who you are and like your new you - to feel free in your own personal quiet way and accept what and how you are - then you have straightforwardly arrived at your own SUCCESS.

Success in grief reconciliation is fleeting as is failure. Failure and success are two variables that can endure. Which do you want? I prefer happily ever-after. My success metric used to be tightly tied to my calendar. Life's experiences have helped me realize that spending my time sensibly and happily is far more important. Perhaps Woody Allen was correct - 80% of success really is showing up. I've learned how to enjoy daily baby steps. Happily, ever-after is a worthy goal.

You only have one life to live. Don't ever compare your life to others as a measurement of your personal success. To live life successfully, happily and hopefully is what you should pursue. Even when grief circumstances turn your life asunder and you feel torn apart, success, happiness and hope should be your goal. They are greater than failure, grief and sorrow. It is my humble prayer and desire that a happy success may follow you in your grief relief journey.